JC1 Fiesta Night just now.














Performed.














Feel great irritation and self-disappointment.














I didn't perform up to my expectations.














It pains my heart.














The 2nd most important thing in my life.














I spend a good deal of my time on it. In fact, I exert a massive effort in it.














So much so that when I do not perform up to standard, I can't stand it.














And to think I actually cried when I got home.














It makes me wonder whether we humans really reap what we sow.














At least it doesn't affect me spiritually. The only bright spark of comfort in an otherwise dark expanse of humane gloom. That's because I have never not reaped what I have sown in Christ.

I sense a spiritual battle going on within me.

Actually, no.

Just that I've been sick for the past week.

First, my Dad got influenza and passed different strands of it to my other family members.

And yesterday, when I almost recovered, I fell sick again.

Wind in the stomach, I guess.

And for the record, I puked 6 times.

And I missed caregroup, sow, and prayer meet today.

That's even worse.

Sigh.